Sissy & The Blisters Tour Diary: Part 2

Chapter 2: CAPTAIN RACIST – Day 1 – Birmingham

After a rather lengthy journey filled with ‘Crab Hunter 5′, David Bowie and Street Fighter (Difficulty level: Hard) we arrived in sunny old Birmingham (lies). After a brisk soundcheck we decided we would try the local cuisine in the form of a well known sandwich chain, which we won’t mention for legal reasons. Everything was going rather well regarding the topping selection, then suddenly, out of nowhere, like a badger on steroids came an incredibly smelly and heavily intoxicated local lad sporting a smoldering chippy dangling from his dirty, dirty mouth. At first we weren’t too troubled, as he just seemed interested in getting a year’s worth of cups, but then things got quickly out of hand when he insisted on knowing the origins of the poor sandwich seller (Racist). Needless to say everyone in there stood there with the words “don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look at him” echoing around their heads for about 5 awkward minutes, then we left. After reaching a safe distance we took turns describing what we would have done, which involved Kung Fu and lots of unconventional super powers.

And now to the show. It was pretty chilled. 98% of the crowd seemed to be made up of newly wed couples, which made James’ girl-in-the-crowd interaction awkward, but didn’t stop him from trying. There was one girl right at the front who had her boyfriends hands forming around her ears like some sort of weird sound bodyguard, which had us occasionally laughing during the set. I wish we could carry them around with us so we always know when it’s loud enough.

Once the night had ended, we made a swift exit to our no star hotel. After reading some reviews of this place, we realised we were in for a night of robbery and faecal remains. On arriving to our rooms, we opened door #1, which was previously inhabited by the sun (it was hot), whereas door #2 was inhabited by a middle aged couple doing the horizontal monster mash (it wasn’t hot). It was pretty awkward to say the least and there obviously wasn’t room for 4 more, so we left them to it. When we finally got to some empty rooms, we laid down, only to realise that there were messages burnt in to the walls and beds and cracks appeared in the unsafe plywood and scaffolding beds every time someone moved.