The Campaign To Re-Release Crap Albums

Like Reggie Black Kids being about 40 years old and The Tings Tings’ drummer being prone to combustion if he takes off his sunglasses, it’s common knowledge that EMI are neck-deep in a swamp of shit. The past few months have seen a few hints of what’s to come, what with the label’s not-so-subtle manner of dealing with Radiohead rejection by issuing a dullard greatest hits on a single CD, double-disc and USB-stick (down with the kids, guys!). Whilst a Radiohead best of is just about gotten away with, though, now comes the next wave of insult-to-injury, where basically every single album they’ve ever released looks like it’ll be reissued as a deluxe-anniversary edition repackage.

Exhibit A –

BRMC’s first two albums, ‘BRMC’ and ‘Take Them On, On Your Own’ are now being released in expanded form, adding a series of non album tracks from the 7 inch and CD singles’ formats for  “Love Burns”, “Spread Your Love“, “Stop” and “We‘re All In Love“. Further additional tracks are available exclusively as digital downloads.

Now, I know they’re desperate, but last time I looked, re-releasing two BRMC albums that the world didn’t exactly fall over itself to purchase in the first place looks like a bit of a shabby solution, sort of on-a-par with Leeds United selling their beloved goldfish. There must be better options, surely – even if EMI’s supreme dickhead-in-chief Guy Hands knows less about modern music than Prince Phillip, wasn’t the point that he had good business sense? Because the next reissue planned doth not good music sense make:

Exhibit B:

On August 25, EMI will release a special 10^th Anniversary Collectors’ Edition of Gomez’s Mercury Prize-winning debut album, Bring It On. This new edition adds a full second disc of material, including two previously unreleased BBC sessions and the B-sides to all three singles released from the album: “Who’s Gonna Go The Bar,” “Steve McCroski,” “Wham Bam” and “Flavors” (from the “78 Stone Wobble” single); “Old School Shirt” and “The Cowboy Song” (from the “Get Myself Arrested” single); and “Whippin’ Piccadilly (Turbo Version),” “Pussyfootin’” and “Pick Up The Pieces” (from the “Whippin’ Piccadilly” single).

Gomez?! WHAAAT?! Christ almighty. I’m beginning to think it’s some sort of warped competition to send the company into out-of-touch meltdown. If it is, how about getting the ‘umble public involved with some suggestions of their own?

Here’s the albums I’d like to see reissued in all their pointlessly brand-spanking redux Collectors’ Edition glory, please:

Semisonic – ‘All About Chemistry’

Gay Dad – ‘Leisure’

Matchbox Twenty – ‘Mad Season’ (on cassette, just for a laugh, like)

Hothouse Flowers – ‘People’

Utah Saints – ‘

Utah Saints’

And last, but not least

Kris Kross – ‘Totally Krossed Out’

MAKE IT HAPPEN.