Dr Craig Daaaavid Will See You Now

Ok, so I just had an absolutely fucking ridiculous press release sent to me. The first three lines aptly sum up the slightly brain-batting ridiculousness of the whole thing. They go something like this: 

“Craig David will receive an honorary degree of Doctor of Music from Southampton Solent University at a graduation ceremony held at Southampton Guildhall on Friday November 7^th.“

Wa wa wa wa-wait just a second. Craig David – that annoying, goatee-toting twat? The rrrrr’n’beeee’eeee’eeee’ing anti-viagra with the slightly wonky mouth? Yep, that’s the one. The man whose first album cover looks like it was shot whilst he sat on the toilet (presumably squeezing out some more high-quality future HITS) has been made an official Doctor Of Music by official people with official braincells. Has

Southampton
University been taken over by Aqua?

Call me a cynic, but isn’t making a man whose life has been characterized by a muppet with a massive head speaking about himself in the third person a Doctor Of Music belittling all the people who, y’know, actually do make good music and, what with him joining Dr Fox in the we’re-not-really-medics club, isn’t it a shame Dr Shipman isn’t around to divvy up the Dr numbers?  

Southampton have raised the bar now and I just hope they can keep up with expectations; I fully expect Ken Monkou Doctor Of Football, Pete Doherty Doctor Of Brushing Your Teeth and the singer out of Fucked Up Doctor Of Dietary to all be confirmed by the end of the year…