Flagging It Up

THE VOTES ARE IN!!! That moment you’ve all been waiting for. Last week Glastonbury posted a poll to see what the public thought about banning flags at the Pyramid stage at this year’s event. And…drum roll… the final result is as follows:

- No, keep the flags (7269 votes) – 55%
- Yes, ban the flags (5909 votes) – 45%

Over thirteen thousand people voiced their opinion on this pressing subject, and it’s been confirmed that this year will be a flag-friendly festival, unlike Download who have banned flags from the main stage arena at this year’s event (sensible). It feels slightly odd to be talking about flags in such a concerned way, but it’s something that irks me a tiny bit. The purpose of the flag at a festival used to be to aid lost punters. When you’ve been wandering around on your own for hours because you thought it’d be a good idea to leave the pack and get a mushroom burger, and they’ve gone down to the Jazz World Stage to watch some old guy playing an axe with a feather, and your phone gets through that one precious time, flags can save you:

‘WHERE ARE YOU?’
‘BY THE ICE CREAM VAN’
‘WHICH ONE? TO THE LEFT OR THE RIGHT OF THE STAGE’
‘RIGHT – I’M BY THE FLAG WITH THE SKULL AND CROSSBONE ON’
 ‘I’M WAVING NOW, CAN YOU SEE ME?’
‘NO’
‘LOOK AT THE FLAG – IT’S GOING UP AND DOWN’
 
(Continue for further 20 minutes and lots of ankle trampling and cider cup crushing as you navigate through the crowds looking desperately for your friends situated below the flag, burger in one hand, lettuce and shiitake falling on floor.)

This isn’t a real statistic, but I think about 6 in 10 groups at festivals will contain one flag-bearer – and 2 out of these 6 will be a Welsh flag. They’re everywhere! So it’s original use as a location marker is rendered pretty worthless now. It’s the same as being at The Big Chill festival and saying ‘Meet you by that white guy with dreads who’s doing the fire poi!’ 

I’ve never really got the festival accessory thing. The big inflatable dinosaur. Beach balls. Frisbee. Even the blown-up condom seems like a lot of effort. When I go to a festival I don’t want to be tied town with the responsibility of stuff and bits like I am in normal life. I want to float around like a hippy. It seems like an awful lot of effort to:

a) Purchase a flag

b) Pack flag

c) Fit flag in your car/on a train 

d) Walk around every day holding flag

e) Have fun with flag

The fact that people have started to advertise on flags when there’s TV coverage is pretty soulless too.

If I was at a festival and one of my mate’s said ‘Oh hang on I just want to run back to the campsite and get my flag’ I’d tell them where to put their pole. Flags are part of the character of the festival, I agree, but I say ban the damn things, there’s just too many and it hinders the enjoyment of the real character which is being able to stand and absorb a live show in a field. Let go of the pole!