By:Larm Festival Oslo

By:Larm festival is Scandinavia’s answer to South By Southwest, but with snow instead of sand – a weekend of music industry schmoozing, vast consumption of eight quid lager (eight quid!) and, of course, a chance to check out the large quantity of burgeoning musical talent from the chillier corners of the continent.

At first look, the line-up seemed to be dominated by scary black-metal bands with blood smeared beards and, at the other end of the spectrum, airy folky singer/songwriter types. But this year there were actually a huge variety of great bands and performers to see, and the beauty of By:Larm is in the Norwegian’s knack for organisation. Gigs always start and finish on time; staff are super-friendly and maps clear and precise. Plus Oslo has a massive number of venues for such a small city, including some amazing underage clubs where we spied mini hardcore kids that couldn’t have been more than six rocking out to Manhattan Skyline.

(Pic: Serena Maneesh)

But there were a couple of moments of musical dubiousness. At one point (due to poor organization on my part obviously) I found myself at a dodgy-looking biker bar watching what appeared to be a Hilary Duff tribute act with the bass turned up to astronomical levels. A second episode of aural torture occurred when I was turfed out of my bed at an unearthly hour (lunchtime) to the piercing wail of the hotel fire alarm, and a deep, foreboding male voice telling me to “VACATE THE BUILDING”. After shoving my trainers on and dashing down several flights of stairs I emerged into the minus-thirteen winter wonderland of central Oslo still wearing my most fetching set of pink satin polka-dot pyjamas. I was suddenly very aware that the people around me were all sporting their most stylish coat/hat/mitten combos, and that myself and one sheepish middle-aged man in a Hugh Hefner-style dressing gown were the only evacuees still in sleepwear. I was almost distracted by my panging hangover headache, but not enough to notice the large group of German schoolchildren pointing at me and laughing. Attempting to pose nonchalantly so people might assume I was there for Fashion Week and showing off some leftfield new London trend, I then slipped over and fell on my arse in the ice.

(Pic: Oh No Ono)

Aside from this minor episode in the series of embarrassing moments which constitute my existence, Oslo is a truly great city and By:Larm one of the coolest urban festivals of the year. Highlights for me this year included perky Norwegian electro boys Casiokids, cool-as-fuck shoegazers Serena Maneesh, and squeaky-but-brilliant Danish fivesome Oh No Ono. If By:Larm appeals, take my advice and invest in a duty free bottle of vodka before you leave the airport – drinks are pricey at most venues and so is food, except for the surprisingly delicious three pound hot dogs from the Seven Elevens on every street corner  (the price probably reflects the nutritional content).

(Pic: Casiokids)