The Fly’s Noughtie Streak: 2005

It’s January: …and the spirit of ’85 is coming round again. Is that a collection of dirty rags and a snooker ball? Oh no, it’s Bob Geldof and Midge Ure! And they’re planning Live 8; ten benefit concerts across the globe, designed to coincide with the G8 Summit; a meeting of the world’s top leaders about something or other that is ultimately for a very good cause and relates to Africa. Thus, we’ll definitely give you our fokkin’ money strange rag-man! But only if you have a shave. Meanwhile, French lady Isabelle Dinoire becomes the first person to receive a partial face transplant, after her old one was chewed off by a Labrador when she overdosed on sleeping pills. Fact.
Also this year, Pope John Paul II snuffs it, civil partnerships for same-sex couples are deemed GAY-OK!, and London is awarded the right to host the 2012 Olympic Games. Celebrations are tempered in the capital, however, as the next day four suicide bombers detonate devices on the London Underground and bus network, killing 56 and injuring over 700. Tony Blair addresses the nation from the G8 Summit. In August, Hurricane Katrina trails destruction in the Gulf Of Mexico, and becomes the largest natural disaster to hit the mainland USA since the San Francisco earthquake of 1906, causing almost $100 billion worth of damage at a cost of nearly 2,000 lives. In sport, after 18 years, England finally regain The Ashes, capturing the imagination of straw-boatered posh-nobs and people who don’t understand hitty-hitty-run-run in equal measure.
The year ends with a month of rioting and car-burning in France, the huge explosion of an oil storage facility in Buncefield, Hertfordshire, and the addition of an extra “leap second”, applied to the Co-ordinated Universal Timescale (UTC) by bearded spec-wearing nerds. Seriously guys, WHO WOULD HAVE NOTICED?

HI! Bands who formed in 2005: Alice In Chains (reformed), Blood Red Shoes, Bombay Bicycle Club, Bonde Do Role, Boy Crisis, Cage The Elephant, Chairlift, Cymbals Eat Guitars, Dirty Pretty Things, The Dodos, Gallows, The Jonas Brothers (AARGGHHH!), Klaxons, Little Red, New Young Pony Club, The Raconteurs, Sky Larkin, The Teenagers, Tubelord, The Virgins, White Lies.

BYE! Bands who split in 2005: Busted, The Get Up Kids, Ikara Colt, Mclusky, Million Dead, Q And Not U, Rocket From The Crypt.

Mercury Prize winner: Antony & The Johnsons – ‘I Am A Bird Now’. Sheep-voiced pianist Antony Hegarty scoops the Mercury Music Prize to cries of “Isn’t that Alison Moyet covered in flour?” No it isn’t.

Deaths: Tommy Vance, radio DJ, 63, Derrick Plourde, drummer for The Ataris/Lagwagon, 33, Luther Vandross, 54, Renaldo “Obie” Benson, The Four Tops, 69, Long John Baldry, 64.

The Fly covers: The Duke Spirit. Can you please explain what went wrong here? Their debut album ‘Cuts Across The Land’, produced by Flood and The Cocteau Twins’ Simon Raymonde, was brilliant, yet it seemed like only a select gaggle of BO-ridden alcoholic rock critics actually gave a shit. Fortunately, The Fly is most definitely a BO-ridden alcoholic rock critic and we put them on the cover.
Next to get close enough to suffer a faceful of our animal musk were Bloc Party, four terribly exciting young art-school whelps with a penchant for danger-cluttered angular angst.
March brought the Kaiser Chiefs, riding a tidal whoooooOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHve of chart success, thanks to the re-release of ‘Oh My God’, whilst inside there’s a feature on intensely throbbing glam rockers Death From Above 1979 that bears the finest headline ever committed to print: ‘1979: A Bass Odyssey’. Stand tall, celebrated Fly scribe Mr. Matt Cartmell. Simply excellent.
Uh-oh, it’s April, and, uh-OH-OH, The UH-OH-OH Futureheads are UH on the cover OH-OH, whilst, in lower case only, newcastle’s yourcodenameis:milo lend further north-eastern weight to the issue with their noisy-debut rockingness. huzzah!
Then, sadly, arrives May. There is a reason we say “sadly”. You see, it’s often been remarked upon that if Denis Norden were to record an hour-long The Fly cock-ups special, May 2005’s cover would cause a violent escalation of his chin-to-chest twitch, an unstoppable finger-wag, and a fatal bout of beating himself to death with his clipboard before he could even read the words ‘The Bravery’ on the autocue. Plus, the font our designer used made everyone who tried to read it think they were in the epicenter of an earthquake. Nnno wwWwwonder ttHheyyy dDididdnn’t mmmakKkke iTt…..
June, and grunge is back. Or so says we, as Manchester-based foursome Nine Black Alps release their debut album ‘Everything Is’, a Kurt-heavy blast of howling rock. July is The Subways, who are busying themselves by affirming their status as the most rockingest thing ever to emerge from Welwyn Garden City. WHICH ADMITTEDLY IS NOT HARD. We’ve also features on Hard-Fi, Brakes, and Dogs, whose guitarist Mr. Richard Mehta is sat opposite me now, in his new capacity as The Fly’s Advertising Executive. THERE HE IS! HI RIK! He says hello. August is Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, who, presumably, haemorrhaged Wildean quips and endless anecdotes that’d make Laurence Olivier seem like a meek mumbling introvert with a mouth full of wasps. Or not, the monosyllabic gruntlords.
September, and we send the infinitely lucky Stephen Brolan to Staines, gateway to the west, to interview self-made chart-invaders Hard-Fi. We’ve also got a Sigur Ros feature, in order to restore balance to the indieforce.
Finishing up the year, October sees The Rakes in Los Angeles, darting from party to party, and even finding time to play at the world famous Troubadour venue on Santa Monica Boulevard, and a November double issue with the burgeoning talent that is Editors on the front.
DONE? YOU HAVE BEEN, MATE!