#3 Damian ‘Pink Eyes’ Abraham, Fucked Up

What’s the best thing about being in Fucked Up?
I think that the best thing about being in Fucked Up for me is getting the opportunity to meet the people who inspired me to be in Fucked Up. In no uncertain terms we are a bunch of nerds in this band and we grew up fanatical about music. I was obsessive. When I say music it was very limited to punk and hardcore. When the band was just starting we use to pore over scenes and records, so being given the opportunity to see and meet all these people is definitely the highlight for me.

Who’s been the person that you’ve been most excited to meet then?
God, it’s really hard to say as we’ve really lucked out. Kevin Shields from My Bloody Valentine I guess. J Mascis. John Brannon from Negative Approach. I guess I should say ‘work and collaborate’, as a lot of the people we’ve met we’ve had the chance to share a stage with or have played on a song.

What did you chat to J about?
Well, he’s very silent. But J’s like a guy that I really hit it off with and when I first met him I just kind of started talking to him about old punk records. He loves American hardcore.

What’s the best freebee you’ve ever got?
I think that the best thing I ever got was a vaporiser!  It’s something for smoking marijuana! It’s a Silver Surfer one, the company sent it to me. They even had ‘Fucked Up’ embossed on it. I’m very new to the culture, so I’m not going to pretend that I’m an expert yet, but I have to say, I’m very good at smoking marijuana! I’m learning at a remarkable rate how to do it! So a vaporiser just heats up the air around the herb – they can’t say drugs on the packaging so they claim it’s an ‘Herbal Diffuser’! – so you put it in there and it heats the air up around it so that nothing actually burns.

What’s the most immoral thing you’ve ever done?
That’s a really hard question! That totally depends on your definition of morality! If you look at immorality as have you ever killed, raped or robbed someone, then no, but have I lied and have I cheated? Then yes I have.

What’s the most rock n’ roll thing you’ve ever done?
Probably trash the bathroom of the MTV Canada. They were like, ‘Hey we want you guys to play a show’ and they put the show on in the bathroom. They said that we could do whatever we wanted and to go crazy. So everyone did. Fucked Up still owes them $9,000 in damages!

What’s your favourite sandwich filling?
I’m gonna say grilled eggplant. I hate vegetables, but I love eggplant. But I’ve only just discovered Nutella, so that’s a very close second! My problem is that I’ve discovered Nutella and marijuana in the same year! At first I started making Nutella sandwiches, then I was like, ‘Hang on why am I wasting my time with the bread?’ and just got a spoon instead.

How would you describe Fucked Up to our mum?
I would probably say, ‘You’re not gonna like it!’ but I would go with the most popular band that I think we’d have any relationship with and say it kinda sounds like Motorhead crossed with The Ramones. We sound nothing like them, but this is what I always say because your mum may have heard of those two bands more than they would have heard of Poison Idea and The Undertones.

Who would be in your dream band?
My dream band on vocals would be Dwid [frontman of hardcore legends Integrity], on guitar would be Pig Champion, my drummer would be Jonah from Fucked Up cos he’s one of my favourite drummers, on bass it would be Harley Flannigan, and on lead guitar it would be J Mascis!

Which song do you wish had been written about you?
The Anti-Scene ‘Sabu’ which is about a pro-wrestler who is homicidal, suicidal and genocidal. Sabu was truly a person without fear and the song is such a celebration of the sacrifices he’s made to entertain people that I really wish that that song was about the sacrifices that I’ve made to entertain people.

What are you currently reading?
I’ve just picked up a biography of Christopher Morris called ‘Discussing Bliss’. I’m a huge fan of his stuff. I love a lot of English series, but I hate The Mighty Boosh for some reason. That humour doesn’t work for me. I love Spaced, and The Office and Brass Eye as well, and even Snuff Box.

What job would you be doing if you weren’t in the band?
I’d probably still be working in a mailroom. It was in a mass corporation that I’m sure does loads of evil things around the world, but it was such a pleasant place to work! Everyone was very cordial, no one ever asked about any of the music I was listening to or anything. I offered one of my co-workers a Fucked Up CD and he said ‘No, I don’t really like rock n’ roll music.’ It was really funny, like no one would even take it out of politeness!

Are you still in touch with any of your colleagues there?
Well, I would have a hard time picking people that I have less in common with. Before the interview they Google image searched the band and unfortunately there was a picture of me doing a mangina on stage! But I still got the job!

What sort of people really annoy you?
I’d say overly-pretentious people! And also rude people, because if people are pretentious, but still polite and pleasant to be around then that’s fine by me. Or people who are disrespectful to people around them.

Yeah but that’s fine, cos you’re a dick.
[Silence]

Hello? That was a joke, I don’t want you to kick my head in!
No, it’s OK, this phone sometimes cuts out. What did you say?

Err… forget it. So what sorts of people do you think that you really annoy?
Oh, I’m sure that I annoy all sorts of people! I think people that enjoy quiet!

And what’s your most embarrassing music memory?
I went up to Ian MacKaye and gave him a Fucked Up record and just assumed that he’d know who we were. And he looks at it and goes ‘Oh thanks, your band’s called Hidden World?’ And I had to explain that no, that was the name of the record and that we were called Fucked Up, and he was like ‘Cool, I’ll check you guys out.’ I was just so cock-sure that he’d know who we were, and so brazen in the way I’d handed him the record, and it really brought me back down to earth!  It’s taught me ever since to keep my ego in check! Another time, I used to have a big crush on Kate Nash and I was at a venue and I was looking at her and she caught me staring, so that was pretty mortifying! It’s a good way to get out of your crush when you freak your crush out!

Finally, what are you going to do now?
I’m going to go back inside the venue and have some sort of soda – probably Pepsi, as I’m one of the few people in the world that prefers Pepsi to Coke – and probably read a couple more pages of that Christopher Morris book!