#1 James Allan, Glasvegas

Hi James. If you could be a The Fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be?
It would probably involve looking at women or something like that. Being perverted would be involved, I think. I used to have a Kate Moss poster on my wall when I was younger. Maybe I’d go somewhere where she’s getting changed or something!

How would you describe your music to our mum?
To your mum? Or to my mum?

Well, not “our mums”, just the Generic British Mum.
Oh. Well, I would just lie. I would say it was better than Gene Pitney, and as good as Neil Diamond.

Which song do you wish had been written about you?
‘The Wanderer’ by Dion And The Belmonts [sings] “I am the wandererrerrrr”.

If you could be any member of any other band who would you be?
I’d be Scott Miller (Elvis’ guitarist), but I’m actually rubbish at the guitar. It would be quite nice to be in a band with Elvis! Even if I did go back and derail his career.

What song do you wish you’d written?
Probably ‘Swan Lake’ by Tchaikovsky, can I pick that? I just think it’s got the lot, it’s got something totally inspiring and it’s also quite heart-breaking as well I think,  it ticks all the boxes, but then so do most of the songs on Tchaikovsky’s ‘Greatest Hits’.

Ah yes, that’s his best album, definitely. What is the name of the first song you wrote?
It was a song called ‘Everybody Knows How To Smile’. It was like a little waltzy thing, it was acoustic and my mum heard it and she said ‘That’s good that!’. I was quite old when I started playing the guitar really so I must have been about 20 when I wrote it.

Do you have any pre-gig rituals?
Sometimes I just go to bed. That doesn’t sound very rock‘n’roll but it’s the only place where I can get away from everything and sorta get a wee bit of peace and think about not singing the wrong words and stuff. It can relax you, too.

Who would be in your dream band?
Probably Johnny Thunders. Just me and Johnny Thunders I think. I like Roy Orbsion’s backing band – they were called The Candymen – so maybe they could do the music. There’s also The Wrecking Crew [musicians for Phil Spector] I think they’d be great too. Queen would be a good one too!

This is turning into an all-star Polyphonic Spree.
This is a good game!

Thanks James, where are you off to now?
I’m gonna try and get a shower. I think I smell.

OK, lather yourself up.
Ha! Cheers, bye.