#11 Simon Pegg

Hello Simon, how are you?
OK thank you, just in the car with my wife and child.

So we’re on the hands-free kit?
That’s right, yes.

Great, OK. Here goes: parents’ first names?
John and Gillian. Gillian with a “G”.

How much is a pint of milk?
A pint of milk is about 59 pence at the minute. Organic. Full fat.

Where would you buy that from?
Probably Waitrose. We’d get the Ocado man to bring it.

What’s your favourite film?
I don’t really hold with that absolutism where you’ve just got to pick one thing to be the best. It flickers for me, but I’d say Raising Arizona, just to give you one so it’s not too complicated.

What was the last CD you bought?
[scoffing] I don’t buy CDs!

Nobody does. That’s why we’re in this mess.
The last album I bought was probably ‘Mylo Xyloto’, the Coldplay one.

What do you think of it? Out of ten?
I like it.

I like it out of ten?
I wouldn’t like to quantify it in such crude terms; I think it’s a great album.

Do you have any allergies?
No. I had a mild allergic reaction to penicillin when I was a very small child. But, er, [drily] I beat that…

Most surreal career moment?
Ah man, there’s been a lot. I was at the Iron Man premier in LA and I’d worked with Jeff Bridges that year, and he was in it so I went up to say hi. He was standing there with John Voigt and Beau Bridges, his brother, and because he was in mid-conversation he kind of just said “yeah-yeah” and put his arm around me as if to say, ‘Look, I’m just gonna finish listening to this story.’ And so I stood there, with Jeff Bridges in a bear hug, listening to John Voigt and Beau Bridges do anecdotes. It was quite bizarre, but brilliant.

Are there any celebrities you don’t like? Who’s a pillock?
Oh, there are plenty, but I wouldn’t like to say because they’ve got mothers who love them.

Did you get accosted by any member of the public at Glastonbury?
[mockingly] No! We were in the special enclosure with Gwyneth Paltrow, y’silly!

Staying in a tee-pee and getting about in a 4×4?
My wife and I were standing next to Jay-Z and one of his songs came on and she started dancing to it and then got all embarrassed.

Did Mr. Zed notice?
I think he probably saw her Mum-dancing out of the corner of his eye, yeah. [Background sound of Mrs. Pegg defending herself] she did a Scottish Mum-dance, which is even more white than a white dance.

Anaemic, almost. Have you ever been close to death?
[Very long pause, the only conclusion from which we can draw is that we have said something inappropriate] We’re all close to death, aren’t we?

Er, philosophically speaking, yes.
Every day we’re only a hair’s breadth from oblivion. Probably more than I realise. I’m in Camden right now though, so that’s pretty close to death.

Complete these Star Wars quotes:
“Mos Eisley spaceport…”
“…a most wretched hive of scum and villainy, we must be cautious.”
“You have failed me…”
“…for the last time, Captain Neider.”
“No. I am…”
[laughing] “…a Scientologist?”

Ah, actually the correct answer is, “…nipping back to Tatooine, I’ve left my keys on the top of the tall boy.” (For the benefit of non-sci-fi losers, the answer is “your Father” – Star Wars Ed)

You have a fake Twitter account. Someone is impersonating you. How do you feel about that?
No, that’s me!

One more question, then you can go about your day.
It’s not another death one is it?

No. The atmosphere that arose from that question was rather awkward.
It’s OK, it was philosophical. I think we need to address those issues. Plus I’m in Primrose Hill now and it’s much safer.

What’s been your worst experience with a demented fan?
Somebody licked my face once.

Oh god. In Camden?
No, it was in a theatre in town. [to Mrs. Pegg] You didn’t like that, did you babe? It’s a weird one. I try to keep my head down. If you go places looking like you want people to come up to you, they will come up to you.

Especially if you’re wearing a top hat and a cane…
…walking down the street shouting “La-de-dah!”

“JUST OUT FOR A WALK, EVERYONE!”
People are generally really nice. It’s just part of the job, and you can’t get annoyed about it, unless people are rude in which case you’re allowed to punch them. You’ve got to understand that that’s the first time they’ve done that today, even if it’s the hundredth time for you. So, to be a meanie is ungrateful. I try to stay positive about it all and understand that it’s just people being nice. You get some people who are just horrible though, you know. I’ve heard of some actors who will tell a 7-year-old child to F-off. That’s just out of order.

Unless the 7-year-old was rude.
Sure, then you can punch them.

Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol is in cinemas nationwide.